


Whatever's Left

by purpleskiesandcherrypies



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Barebacking, Dean Being an Ass, F/M, Pregnancy, Quickies, Sam Tries, Smut, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-03
Updated: 2019-01-24
Packaged: 2019-09-06 08:00:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 9,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16828441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purpleskiesandcherrypies/pseuds/purpleskiesandcherrypies
Summary: Dean’s not doing ok. In fact, he’s far from it. When he thought that he could just enjoy the little time that he had left with you by his side, you have to go and break the news that you’re pregnant. Of course he’s not going to reward you with a freaking medal. Sam’s trying to mend things, as  always, and he’s still determined to save his brother from hell.





	1. 01

The morning sun shimmered through the blinds and you slowly blink the sleep out of your eyes. You were feeling good at first, waking up in Dean’s arms. He pulled you against him further when he felt you stir next to him. But then, all of a sudden, everything felt too warm, the embrace of Dean’s arm around your torso, too tight. You writhed yourself out of his hold, trying to get away without waking him up, but it was too late.

“Where do you think you’re going?” A low sleepy voice rumbled next to you, making you turn around and immediately your heart lights up when you saw the source of the voice.

“Just up. It’s morning, Dean.” You propped yourself up on your elbows, your gaze meeting his sleepy eyes.

He looked adorable, hair ruffled and pointing in all directions and the way he squints his eyes; it makes you fall for him all over again.

“No, a little longer. Please?” Dean grabbed your elbow, pulling you down, making you fall back against him as one of his arms sneaked around your waist and his other hand was placed on the back of your head, pulling you against him for a gentle kiss.

He broke the kiss, his hand now caressing your cheeks as he whispered a soft “Good Morning.” before he kissed you again. 

Dean turned you around, maneuvered your body on top of him, pulling you flush against him and you could feel his morning wood poking at your thighs.

“Mmh.. someone’s happy to see you first thing in the morning.” His teeth that were tugging at your bottom lip let go of it and kissed the corner of your lips as they curved into a smile.

“That’s very nice but —” A sudden wave of nausea hit you and you placed your hand to your mouth before you scrambled up quickly to run to your bathroom.

“I just need a moment.” You called out as a second wave hit you, bringing you down to your knees, your hands gripped tight around the toilet bowl before you vomited.

“Are you alright?” Dean rushed to your side, holding back the hair from your face as he rubbed your back, soothing you as best as he could.

There was really nothing that could come out of you, since you didn’t have a lot to eat last night. You only managed to down a couple of bites of that disgusting burger. Sitting back, you leaned your back against the tile wall, cold sweat running down your temples.

“I don’t think I’m ok, Dean.” You said, closing your eyes because the image of Dean began to move in circles in front of your eyes and you’re seeing double.

“Was it the burger last night? I told you that we should probably go somewhere else.” Dean desperately tried to make sense of all of this.

“Shit!” It dawned on you. You got on your feet hastily, almost falling because your knees were wobbly, and ran out to your bedroom, grabbing your phone to take a look at your cycle that you kept track on.

_Shitshitshitshit_

“Would you tell me what’s wrong?” Dean pleaded with you, following you back from the bathroom into the bedroom.

“Fuck, Dean.” You took a deep breath, unclasping your hand from your mouth. “I-I think I’m pregnant.”

There was a long pause. Both of you staring at each other, both trying to understand and make sense of this situation.

“I don’t get it?” Dean sat down on the bed and suddenly, he felt nauseous himself.

“I’m late. A fucking week, Dean. I didn’t notice. I.. I was so busy with work and you.. a-and everything.”

“But we use protection. You’re on the pills..” It was like he was trying to calm himself down.

“I do but I have been out of town for work, I might have forgotten once or twice. Fuck!” You flung yourself on your bed, burying your face in the pillows.

“Well, what now?” Dean asked confused.

“I don’t know.” 


	2. 02

Dean went out and brought back a pregnancy test an hour later.

“It’s not rocket science.” He showed you the test in his hand. “They told me that there’s no false positive.” Dean held the test out for you to take but he didn’t look you in the eye. He couldn’t; and you didn’t know what it was. What held him back from showing you affection when you needed it most. If you can’t rely on him in times like these, what’s the point really? 

You couldn’t help but think back and began to notice that he’s been distant lately. Since about the time he went on a hunt and Sam almost got killed. Something changed that night. Something happened but he would never talk about it and you weren’t the one who would pressure him into talking. In fact, Dean rarely talks.

Dean sat back on the bed, as you walked to your bathroom and closed the door.

When you walk out of the bathroom, you could see him still sitting in the same spot, lost in his thoughts, his head buried in his hands.

Dean looked up at you when you were standing next to him, trying to read your expression.

“Now we have to wait.” You said, sitting beside him, the test visible in your hands.

“Can’t we speed it up?” He took the test from you, waving and shaking it around.

“It’s not a freaking polaroid picture, Dean!” You almost giggled before you reminded yourself that there’s really nothing to be laughing about.

Dean doesn’t want kids. That much you knew. He said it at the beginning of your relationship and you were ok with it. You didn’t want kids too, or do you? You just don’t know anymore.

When the time’s up, you looked at the test to see two lines.

_Fuck._

“This is it, huh?” You said almost too soft, but your voice was shaking and your hands were trembling.

Dean didn’t say anything. It was like the air had been punched out of his lungs.

“Dean?” You felt your eyes well up. “Say something, please?”

“What do you want me to say, Y/N? Well fucking done? We can do this? Huh? Fun-fucking-tastic?!” He practically spat the words in your face.

“Don’t you dare yell at me, Dean! I didn’t want this to happen!”

“You didn’t? Oh, ‘cause it seemed to me that you do! Just taking pills everyday, Y/N! How hard can it fucking be? You don’t need to be a genius to take some fucking pills!”

“Don’t you dare blame this on me! It takes two, and you know that!” You screamed at him, tears blurring your vision.

That hit, because Dean shut up. He buried his head back in his hands, his fingers threading through his hair, almost pulling them out in a desperate attempt to wake up from the nightmare he’s in.

“Y/N, I’m sorry. I-I can’t.” He looked up at you and the look on his face was too painful.

“We can! We could do it, we’ve been through so much, what is a baby, right?” You try to comfort him, kneeling in front of him and held his wrists apart so he would look you in the eyes. "Right?"

“Dean, please?” You held is head in your hands now, thumbs caressing his cheeks, brushing away the tears that streamed down his face.

Dean stood up, wriggled himself out of your hold. “I’m sorry. I can’t.”

He was out the door before you could say anything else.


	3. 03

“Hey.” Sam greeted Dean, when he walked through the door of their motel room. The room that is way too small like his head was. Not big enough to contain this thoughts. He wanted to moved for so long, but they stayed. Mainly because of her, but now he just doesn’t know anymore. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

Dean looked around the room and he noticed that the wallpapers are coming off, and he desperately wanted to rip if off with his bare hands. Similar to the way his fingers were twitching to scratch at that itch in his heart.

“Worse.” Dean went straight for the fridge and took out a cold beer, opened it up and almost downed the whole bottle in one go.

Sam had noticed that Dean smelled of booze and cigarettes. There was a bar two blocks from here that was open almost 24/7“You wanna talk about it?” Sam asked, raising an eyebrow in question.

“Why?”

“Because it’s not even 11am and I can feel that this isn’t the first alcoholic beverage you’ve had today.” He pointed his finger to the bottle in Dean’s hand.

“Shut up, mom! Mind your own business.”

“No, really. Hit me, Dean. Y/N’s been texting me, telling me that she can’t reach you.”

Dean rolled his eyes visibly as a agonizing groan left his lips.

“Dean! She’s worried because you took off this morning, apparently without saying a word and you’ve been gone for two hours before you showed up here!”

That’s true. Dean sat in the car, waiting. He didn’t really know what for, didn’t know where to go or what to do. He desperately wanted to run back up there because he was being a total jerk to her but he couldn’t. He needed time. He should have told her that he was sorry. Told her, that whatever it is, they could make it and she ain’t wrong; they’ve been through so much already. What is a baby, really? He should have told her that he loved her. But it’s all too late now and basically, he’s fucked.

He never told her about his deal. Never wanted her to know because he always thought it was easier that way. If he would have told her, she’d be mad at him, make him feel miserable when all he wanted was to just enjoy the rest of his short life with her by his side, without earning pity side eyes just because he’s going to die.

“Sammy, don’t you come at me. I have enough on my plate, alright?”

“Maybe I can help?”

“Yeah? Can you? Oh, so, can you maybe make the baby disappear out of her womb? Huh? Can you make me take back all the nasty things I threw in her face in a fit of rage? So if you can’t do that, Sammy, you can’t fucking help me!”

Sam was tongue tied, he still tried to digest the baby news because Y/N hasn’t told him about it.

“Yeah, I thought so.” Dean snickered and emptied the rest of his beer in one gulp, before taking out another bottle.

He opened it up and drank it in one go, burping and almost throwing up when he finished it. But still he kept going on, taking out another one. He’s going to drink himself to sleep. Maybe that’ll help and it’ll make him feel less like an asshole.

“That’s not bad, is it? A baby?” Sam tried to reason with his brother.

“Sammy! I don’t know if you heard me right. A baby is the worst that could happen!”

“Why?”

“Why?” Dean took a deep breath. “Oh, I don’t know? Maybe, because I’ll be torn apart by hellhounds in a couple of month from now? I’ll be in hell and the baby won’t even know who his or her father is? Here’s why!” He slammed his fists on the counter and turned himself away from Sam.

Sam stood up now, walking over to Dean.

“You won’t go anywhere, Dean. We’ll get you out of this!”

“How, Sammy?! We’ve got jack with a side of squad! Hell, I should just let them take me now so I won’t be able to hurt anymore people around me.”


	4. 04

A couple of days later, someone knocked at your door just before you were about to go to bed.

You open up the door to find Sam and you stood on your tip toes and craned your neck, trying to see if Dean was standing behind him. You haven’t heard anything from Dean since the day he left. Only a text from Sam, saying that Dean showed up and that you shouldn’t be worried. Like, if you ever stopped worrying about him.

“Oh, hey.” You say, opening the door wider now.

“Can I come in?” Sam asked. “I’m alone, if you’ve wondered.”

Of course he noticed the ray of hope in your eyes, he had probably noticed how that fire that lit up for a second, was crushed to ashes again when you saw that he was alone.

“Be my guest.” You said, taking a step back to let him in.

He looked weary, as if his carrying a heavy burden. One he doesn’t want you to know, even though it’s also probably one that he can’t possibly carry alone.

“Uh.. you have a nice place.” Sam looked around nervously.

He’s been here before and he knows that place but still, he didn’t know what else he could say. Didn’t know how he could even make it all better. 

Sam loved her. Loved, how she was the one who could tame Dean. Loved, how she kept him grounded and how she made him take roots in one place. Loved, how she kept Dean from being restless and in order, put some normality into his life as well.

It was awkward for him being here but he just wanted to come see if she’s alright. Come tell her, that she should give Dean time, even though he knows damn well that it’s the only thing running out.

“Sam, you’ve been here before. Let’s cut to the chase, shall we? You and I both know that you’re not here for chit chat. I’m not an idiot, Sam. Yeah, well, maybe I am because your brother sure thinks that way.”

He let out a sigh, taking his hands out of his jacket pocket in defeat.

“Did Dean send you? He told you to talk me into an abortion because he doesn’t want me having his baby?” Oh god, you couldn’t control your outburst and it might have come out a little too bitter, a tad too angry.

“Y/N, Dean didn’t send me, alright? In fact, he doesn’t even know that I’m here. All he knows is, that I’m out at the library and he told me to get him pie before heading home, which I will then forget.”

That helped and it made you grin a little and Sam grins with you.

“I wanna teach him to eat healthier.” Sam chuckled, brushing his nose with his forefinger.

“Yeah, well, good luck with that. He’ll rather burn in hell, I think.” You said it without a care in the world but you could see how Sam’s grin turned upside down into a frown.

“Why are you here Sam?” You asked him, prepare to hear the worst. Maybe Dean sent him to break up with you because he couldn’t do it himself.

“I just.. uh.. I wanted to say that I’m on your side. Whatever you want to do, it’s fine. I’m not here to judge and I will help in any way that I can. And if you should keep the baby, just know that we’re here. Dean..” He looked around, not really wanting to look you in the eye. “..Dean’s a little lost at the moment. He has a shit ton of things going on and.. and I just know that he didn’t really mean the things he said.”

“Well, he did a great job hurting me.” Your voice shook and you’re trying so hard no to cry.

“Give him time. He’ll come around.” Sam placed his hand on your shoulder and that is what broke you.

A human contact that was so warm and gentle, something that makes you forget the last couple of days. You lean into him and Sam pulled you to his chest, letting you cry on it while he held you; and somehow, you hoped that Sam’s right.


	5. 05

Dean fell through the door of the motel room with a girl’s lips attached to his neck and they laughed when they flopped down onto his bed with a giggle, at least Sam thought that Dean was laughing too, but her voice is too penetrating to really say. 

Sam wasn’t sleeping but if he would have been, he’d be woken up by their laughter. He was trying to sleep but that’s probably not going to happen anytime soon. Sam laid still and tried to zone out but he just couldn’t, maybe he wanted to see how far Dean would go with a girl that’s not Y/N?

Dean most likely still loved Y/N but he had his head in a hazy fog lately, drowning his last couple of brain cells in cheap booze. Sam was actually surprised that Dean didn’t hunt for skirts any sooner. Today was a first. Maybe because, today marked 4 weeks without Y/N in Dean’s life. Sam knows that Dean missed her but he’s too fucking stubborn.

Sam noticed, how Dean would always stare at his phone, the texting app open and he even tried to write something but then he would let out a sigh of agony and lock up his phone before he put the phone away.

Sometimes Sam would like to shake his brother awake, smack him over the head and pulling him down from the high horse Dean’s sitting on and make him see that there’s still hope and make him get down on his knees and beg Y/N for forgiveness.

“Shhh..we’re waking my brother.” Dean whispered and Sam could hear her unbuckling Dean’s belt, could hear the zipper being pulled down while she was still giggling. But then her laughter died down, replaced by silence from both party.

“Oh boy, not in the mood today, are we?” She still had a playful tone in her voice.

Yeah, no, Dean’s not really in the mood. He had never been since he left Y/N. Dean thought that he could maybe find a quick fuck and release his anger and depression in the form of an orgasm but now he doesn’t think that it’ll happen at all. Not when she rubs him the wrong way. Her hands felt too small, her grip too tight around his dick, that was still soft in her hands.

“Let’s see if I can make you hard, honey. I’m pretty good with my mouth.” She said and then she started to suckle on the tip of his cock.

Maybe she was good with her mouth, just not to him. Dean closed his eyes, trying to concentrate but nope, it’s not going to work. She’s not doing it right. Maybe she’s just not Y/N. Dean’s been cock-blocked by someone who’s not even in his life anymore. _Fun-fucking-tastic._

There was a sound of a text message arriving on his phone and he fished it out of his pants before taking a look at it. The girl still tries to get him up. And somehow, Dean wondered how long it’ll take until she’ll give up but he’s not going to wait that long. Not when he still had a say in this.

  * _I’m going to the doctors for a sonogram tomorrow at 11am. Just in case you wanted to join me. The address is…_



Dean’s heart started to beat faster and he cleared his throat before he spoke. “Yeah, no. Not going to happen today. Why don’t you get dressed and get the fuck out of my room?”

He looked at the girl, saw the confusion in her eyes. She scrambled back onto her feet without a word, frowning. She walked to the door and looked back at Dean before she opened it and slammed it loudly behind her with a yell that sounded awful lot like “Fuck you.”

“Sammy, you up?”

“Dude! She fucking slammed the door. How am I supposed to still be sleeping?”

“Yeah, figured. Sorry.” Dean breathed out an apology and disappeared into the bathroom. He’ll take a shower, wash off the guilt that’s been clinging onto him.

Sam wished that Dean would say sorry to Y/N, like he said sorry to him.


	6. 06

Dean looked at his watch for the third time in 15 minutes. It was almost 10am and he knows that, if he would drive off now, he would still be able to make it. But he’s stuck here, asking Mrs. Holland all kind of stupid questions while ha and Sam both know that she’s making things up.

Dean didn’t need to have a degree to know that her story stinks. He could literally smell it from miles away. So he kept watching Sammy, let him take the lead because for the love of all things mighty, he doesn’t have it in his bones to deal with crazy. Not today.

* * *

“Are you sure about that, Mrs. Holland?” Sam asked the woman who lived next door to the victim.

“Pretty sure it was a Vampire. I mean, I’ve never seen one, but I’ve read about them, you know, in books at the library. It hissed and hopped from one branch to the other before the attack and...and then it just ripped the poor man’s head off. I couldn’t even scream, I was too shocked! And then when I threw a onion at it, it disappeared.”

“An onion?”

“Yeah, an onion. Vampires hate them, don’t they?”

“Uh..I’m pretty sure it’s garlic. But that won’t keep them away.”

“No, no, young man. It’s onions!”

“Alright, onions it is then! Thank you very much.” Sam said and Dean nodded at her before both of them turned around to walk to the car.

“Yeah, of course. A Vampire my ass. Mrs. Holland needs to shut her freaking mouth.” Dean growled low, rolling his eyes to the back of his head and took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down because if not, he might do something he’ll regret.

“Dean!” Sam called out. “Alright. Maybe she’s fantasizing a little bit.”

“Maybe? A little bit?” Dean frowned at Sam. “She’s a freaking old lady who’s lonely and just wants to talk to somebody. She doesn’t know jack and I doubt that she’s seen anything at all!”

“Let’s go to the morgue.” Sam suggested.

“Uh..sure.” Dean took a look at his watch again. If he’d go now, he’ll be just in time.

  


“So get this, the victim was apparently on his way home from a strip club.” Sam talked to the coroner, who was a much more reliable source than Mrs. Holland.

“Hhm..” Dean looked into the distance, not really listening to Sam.

“Dean? Did you hear me?” Sam nudged Dean.

“What?”

“Strip club!”

“Yeah, yeah.” Dean breathed out, taking another look at his watch.

Sam couldn’t help but notice that Dean was constantly looking at his watch. He noticed it this morning and throughout the day but he thought that it’s not his place and Dean will probably tell him if something’s going on but now he just couldn’t hold himself back anymore.

“What is it?” Sam frowned at Dean.

Dean let out a sigh. “Y/N’s having her sonogram right about now.”

“Why didn’t you tell me? You could have go and be there with her!” Sam really could have done all this alone. There was no need of Dean whatsoever.

“It’s ok.”

“It’s not ok, Dean!”

“Shut it, Sammy! It’s ok! I didn’t want to be there.” Dean yelled at Sam but actually he maybe wanted to tell it to himself.

They sat in the diner a couple of hours later when Dean received a text.

  * _Wished you would have come but here’s the video._



There’s a short video file of the sonogram. A big grey blob with something in the middle that was blinking like crazy.

Dean’s eyes began to water when he finally made out that it was the baby’s heart that was beating in its chest.

“Dean? You ok?”

Sam asked from across the table and Dean brushed away his tears with his thumbs.

“Yeah.” He cleared his throat. “I’m ok.”


	7. 07

_Two month now_. Two month passed without a word from Dean but a lot of words from Sam.

_“He’ll come around. Give him some time.”_

It was always the same.

Dean’s suffering. 

Dean has a lot on his place. 

Dean needs time. 

_Dean, Dean, Dean._

There’s just so much time you could give him and you’re not sure if you have anymore time left.

“You know, he cried when he saw the video of the sonogram you sent him. He didn’t want me to know but I saw it.”

When you read the message you felt your tears welling up. Why didn’t he say something? Why didn’t he call you? 

_Why, why, why._

“Let me know if you need anything.” Sam said in his latest text.

“I need him.” Was your reply, knowing that it will get lost in the haze.

  


Dean had been drinking. It seemed like it was the only thing that he could do lately. They still got no lead and apparently, his contract was in the hands of a demon called Lilith. Sammy’s been working day and night to find out about Lilith and her minions. He’s more determined to save Dean than Dean wants to save himself.

“Hey, handsome.” The voice came from the woman standing next to him at the bar. She came closer, invading his space, her perfume was so penetrating. Sweet like wilted flowers or death. Yeah, death probably suit to describe it better.

“All alone, huh?” She sneaked her arm around Dean, placing it on his shoulders and he smirked.

“Yeah, well. At least I don’t get tired of myself.” Dean lied. 

He really did. Can someone get tired of themselves? Dean was sure that if I had to deal with someone like him, he would have given up a long time ago. He was wondering why Y/N and Sam still try to mend him when he’s broken.

“Let’s have a good time together, huh?” She was so close now and Dean thinks that he’ll pass out from nauseousness pretty soon.

“Sweetheart, why don’t you move your ass over there and have a good time on the other side of the counter, huh?” He replied with a grin.

“Bossy. I like that.” She purred in his ears. “I’m not done with you, Winchester.” 

That comment made his blood freeze and the hair on the back of his neck stood up. Dean’s sharp hunter senses went into overdrive.

Dean tilted his head over to her, his other hand immediately went to the knife that was in his pocket.

“I wouldn’t do that, Dean.” She giggled carelessly, “I know all about you. All about your lady friend and your unborn child.” Her eyes turned red before it switched back.

“Fuck you.” Dean hissed under his breath and he tried to stay calm.

“Dean Winchester, say, do you want to deal?” 

“Who sent you?”

“Lilith.”

“Of course.”

“She offers you a deal.” She traced along his jaw his her blood red nails. “Do you want a deal? Please say you do. You know, because I would love to seal it with a kiss.”

“What’s the deal.” He knows that he shouldn’t even be listening to what that bitch’s saying but he was curious.

“You’ll get out of your deal and we take your child instead. How does that sound? Rip it out from its mother’s womb. You didn’t want it anyway and she’s just a burden. You won’t have to deal with it..” Her tongue darted out, licking the shell of his ear. “..everyone wins.”

“Go. To. Hell.” Dean hissed through gritted teeth and stood up from his stool, heading out, not even giving her second glance.

She could have killed him, right here and now but why should she bother. He’ll be dead in a couple of months anyway.

Dean got into the car and drove off. 


	8. 08

“Y/N! Open up!” There was nervous banging on your door as you were jolted out of your dreams.

“Y/N!” More banging.

“C’mon! I know that you’re home! Open up!” Two more bangs. “Goddammit, I’ll kick it in, I swear!”

You walked to the door when you heard Mrs. Growan shout out through the stairwell. “Young man! You should leave before I call the police!”

“Why don’t you mind your own freaking business Mrs. Growan! It’s me, Dean! You know me!”

“Just because I know you doesn’t mean that I won’t call the police, if you won’t stop banging the door, Dean!” The old lady could be heard.

“Dean?” You open up to see a distraught Dean and you could see the relieve in his eyes when you finally opened the door.

“What are you –”

“Honey, is he pestering you?” Mrs. Growan called up from downstairs.

“Ahm..no, it’s ok Mrs. Growan. You can go back to sleep.” Your eyes were fixed on Dean, frowning at him.

“Good night, child.”

“Good night, Mrs. Growan. And sorry.” You say loud enough for her to hear but your gaze was still on Dean.

“Yeah, sorry.” Dean muttered under his breath.

The two of you were standing there, staring at each other and listened as Mrs. Growan closed the door to her apartment.

“What –”

You were going to say more but got cut off by his lips on yours as his big hands cradled your face and pushed you into the door before Dean closed it with a kick of his foot.

He had you up against the wall, his kisses grew more demanding and then he latched on to your throat as you nails dug into his scalp.

 _Don’t! Stop!_ You should have said but instead, you let him kiss you again as if his life depends on it. He must have been drinking, you could still taste the Whiskey on the tip of his tongue. His rough lips mold themselves to yours, his tongue exploring the inside of your mouth.

“Missed you.” He mumbled against your throat, his hand busy, dragging your pajama shorts down and when he brushed his calloused finger against your clit that gets wetter by the second, you’re done resisting and instead, clung onto him, bathing yourself in the familiar feeling of Dean, taking what he’s willing to give you.

You knew that you should have more willpower and damnit, you would have if he wasn’t such a good kisser and your body couldn’t hide or deny the way it reacted to him.

Dean didn’t wait long, the hand that was on your pussy nervously unbuckling his belt now and he pulled down the zipper, groaning into your mouth as he freed his aching cock from its confines.

He lifted you up into his strong arms, letting you wrap your legs around him as he brushed the tip of his cock against your entrance and pushing himself in with no warning, groaning against your ear as he slid home and pinned you harder against the wall.

Dean claimed your mouth, sucking in your bottom lip as he thrusted his hips in a steady pace, careful not to hurt you.

“Touch yourself. I’m close.” He said through gritted teeth before he sucked in a patch on your throat.

“Just come.”

“No, you first.”

He was still stubborn and you squeeze your hand in between the two of you as you began to circle your digits on your bud, letting yourself go when you felt it. Dean increased his speed, fucking you through your orgasm, growling into your ear as your walls cramped down on his cock.

“I’m cuming..” His voice cracked as he released himself into you, mouth still attached to your neck as he began to slow down his movements.

Dean slipped out as he kissed you and even though the sex was more mechanical than magical, you’re surprisingly ok with it.

“You should get dressed and pack your things.” He said, finish dressing himself, before he went into the bathroom and came out with a wet cloth. He held it out for you to clean up.

“Why?”

“You’re in danger and I want you to come with me.”


	9. 09

“Dean! You didn’t contact me for two month and then you come waltzing in, fuck me and all you say is that I need to pack my things? Don’t get me wrong, I wanted it too, obviously, but still.”

“Just..do it. Please.” He was gesturing with his hands, like he normally does when he tries to calm himself down while explaining something.

“Wow, you said please.” You folded your arms on your chest, after you cleaned yourself up and dropped the cloth on your bed.

“Y/N. It’s serious. Do it. Pack your things and come with me.”

“What if I don’t want to?”

“DO IT!” He was screaming and you were startled, flinching when you heard him.

When Dean saw that he scared you, he immediately changed his tone of voice. You could see his whole body softening as he took the two steps towards you, his hand gripping your arm, nails biting into your flesh.

“Please?” He whispered softly, “I know that you’re very capable of doing things on your own but please. Just, for once, listen to me. Alright?”

You lowered your gaze, afraid to look at him, afraid of who he became.

“Hey, look me in the eye.” He soothed you, “I’m up here.” You look up to see his red rimmed eyes and Dean swallowed hard before he spoke, “There are things out there and they want to get to your child. _Our_ child. I’m not asking you to forgive me. I know I wouldn’t forgive myself and I don’t even want you to.” He took another deep breath, “But I want to keep you safe. So please, baby, pack your things and come with me?”

You were speechless. Is he serious? You twist yourself out of his grip and began to pace around the room, letting his words bounce around in your head and Dean just watched you, patiently waiting for you to do something, as he stood rooted next to your bed.

“You’re saying someone wants to get to my baby?” You took a deep breath before looking Dean in the eye again.

“Yes, and technically it’s _our_ baby.” He added but he soon realize his mistake and shut his mouth because you sent him a death glare.

“Maybe if you would care a bit more, it’s going to be your baby, Dean. But for now, let’s go with _my_ baby, alright?” You shot him down, your hand rest on your stomach, suddenly feeling it cramp down on you and you had to sit down on your bed.

He had nothing to say against it because he knows that he of all people should not voice his opinion on that one. And if he does, you’ll make sure that he knows his place.

“Dean, I can’t come with you. I mean, for how long? Where should I stay? You have nothing but a motel room.” You shook your head, still not believing what he demanded of you.

“I don’t know, alright. All I know is that Sam and me, we can keep you safe and honestly, that’s all I’m asking from you. Please?”

You didn’t know why you said yes, didn’t know why you let him get under your skin. There’s nothing there, I mean, who in their right mind wants to have a baby? Especially when it’s not even born yet?

Sitting back, you look out of the window as Dean drove like a madman, the knuckles white as his hands gripped hard at the wheel.

It wasn’t a long drive. But it could feel like a lifetime if you’re not talking. Dean made sure that they would stay close to her apartment, had been since they’ve been together.

When the Impala rolled to a halt in front of their room, you hastily got out of the car and took your bag from the backseat. Dean opened up the door to the backseat from the other side and was about to grab the bag but you were faster.

“Let me take it.” He looked at you with a frown.

“I’m pregnant, not sick.” You clapped back and took the bag and walked around the car.

Dean rolled his eyes and sighed in defeat. He was waiting for you to catch up before he opened the door.

“Dean!” Sam called out as he saw his brother walking into the room.

Dean immediately drew his knife from his pocket at the sight that greeted him.


	10. 10

Sam was bound to a chair, his nose bloody as the bitch from the bar pulled at his hair, making him look right up at Dean like a fucking present. His eyes were bloodshot and maybe Sam wanted to tell him something with his gaze but Dean just couldn’t read into them, his mind was racing, his heart was beating fast, his fingers gripped themselves tightly around the handle of the blade.

You were still behind Dean and he pushed you further back and moved you over so that he was shielding you.

“Hello handsome,” The demon chuckled, “we’ve been waiting a long time. Did you get frisky with her?”

Dean made himself a little bigger now, his broad shoulders and body covering you completely so that you couldn’t see what was happening.

“None of your damn business.” Dean hissed at her through gritted teeth, his nostrils flared up in disgust as the scent of her dead flowers perfume filled the room. It smelled like death and all his friends.

“Why, why, Dean, I’m just trying to have a little small talk. Not much of a talker, are you, huh?” She taunted him, “What about you sunshine? Does he talk to you? Sweet talking you into bed but then never opened up his mouth again, huh? Didn’t tell you what was really going on, did he now?”

“Fuck off. What do you want? I said the deal was off.” Dean growled, his body was still tense, his hands still shaking.

You were scared and confused and wished that you didn’t come with him. “Dean? What’s going on?” You said softly but he didn’t hear you. Couldn’t hear it above the laughter of the demon. It was piercing high and it made your ear hurt.

“Oh, you know what I want,” she trailed her nails along the side of Sam’s face, scratching at the surface of his skin, “just been talking to Sammy here but he didn’t want to say where you went.” She tugged at Sam’s hair, digging her nails into his scalp now, making him groan out in pain and you had to squint your eyes.

“Sammy!” Dean called out for his brother. He was torn between rushing in and protecting you but he decided to stay rooted in front of you.

“Don’t worry handsome. He’s ok. A little TLC and he’ll be as good as new, it’s your girlfriend I would be worried about.” She grinned evilly, flashing you her white teeth.

“Dean? What is she talking about?” You frowned at him as you stepped to the side to be able to see the woman.

“Nothing. It’s nothing, alright?!” Dean growled at you or at her, you didn’t know. It was all too confusing.

“What’s your name, sunshine?” She asked you.

“It’s –”

“Don’t talk to that bitch!” Dean hissed at you, cutting you off.

“Why, Dean? Afraid I’ll spill your secret?”

Oh, now she’s just plain on mocking Dean and he knows.

“Dean, tell me what the fuck is going on?” You asked again, demanding an answer.

“Uhh.. I feel like I’m in a soap opera.” She started to giggle. “Sunshine, Dean didn’t tell you that he’s going t–”

“Shut the fuck up!” Dean yelled out, making you jump.

“Either you tell her or I do.” She said calmly. “Tick, tock..”

Dean turned around to face you, his hands placed on either side of your shoulders. You could see that he put the blade away, tugged it right into his back pocket, which means that the woman was no treat. He would not risk doing that if she wants to harm you. “Alright, look. That night I went hunting with Sam?”

“There were many nights you’ve been hunting with Sam, Dean. You’ve got to be more specific.” You said with shaky voice.

“The night where I came to you, late at night, and you had to hold me because I wouldn’t stop shaking.”

“Oh, isn’t that sweet?” She said it in a degrading tone of voice.

“Shut the fuck up and let him talk!” Now it was you who yelled at her because you wanted to hear Dean talk and when you look up at him, you could see him smirk with pride, at least for a second before the frown returned right back on his face.

“I..I-I wanted to tell you that night but I couldn’t. I didn’t know how because I know that you’ll be mad at me.”

You looked at him puzzled.

“Well, maybe not mad because you’d know where I was coming from and you would probably have done the same if you would have been in my position.”

“Dean, I’m dying here.” You were shaking, desperately biting down on your lips, wanting him to spill the beans instead of rambling on.


	11. Chapter 11

“Yeah, yeah.. anyways,” He took a deep breath, “that night, I made a deal with a demon. Sam was dead. I wanted him back, had to bring him back. Because all my life, I was told to look out for Sammy but what was the point when Sam’s not around, when there was no Sam to look out for? Everything seemed pointless and when I was kneeling over Sam’s dead body, I was angry. Mad at everyone and most of them, myself.”

He had tears in his eyes and you could feel your own running down your cheeks as he brushed them away with both his thumb, while he held your face between the big palms of his hands.

“Baby, I made a deal that night. I was begging them to take me instead of Sam. Literally spat in their face and tell them to fucking take me already. I’m sorry I wasn’t thinking of you, all I wanted was my brother back.”

“No. No, no, no.” You shook your head as you wept. Not because he didn’t think of you. That, you can get your head behind. You knew how much Dean loved Sam and vice versa. You knew that nothing could come between the brothers. You were incredibly sad, because he didn’t tell you this sooner. Didn’t confide in you, didn’t want you to know that he’s going to die.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered as he pulled you closer and placed a kiss on the top of your head before wrapping his arms around your body.

“Don’t ever say you’re sorry, Dean.” You shook your head no, as tears still run down your face like a waterfall. “Don’t ever say that, you understand?” You fisted his jacket, bumping your knuckles against his chest. “How long?” You looked up at him, nose red and eyes shiny with tears.

You’ve heard about deals with demons before. That was how you met Dean. Your mom did make a deal. Sam and Dean tried to save her but they couldn’t and to know that Dean will die the same agonizing death your mom did makes you want to throw up.

“They gave me a year. Well, it’s only a couple of months now.” Dean swallowed down the big lump in his throat. “Sammy’s trying to get me out of it but we’ve got jack.”

“Is that why you were so angry at me about the baby?”

“I’m sorry. So sorry for that.” He kissed you softly and you let yourself fall, kissing him back as if your life depends on it.

“Why is she here?” You asked, breaking the kiss when you realized that she was indeed still standing there, watching the both of you with a wicked grin on her face.

“I offered him another deal, sunshine.” She sneered before she let her tongue click against her white teeth.

“What’s that deal?” You twist away from Dean, taking one step closer to the woman whom’s eyes flashed red for a minute. You wanted to know, maybe it was worth to hear her out.

“Y/N, don’t listen to her.” Sam called out but got knocked over by the demon.

“Sammy!” Dean rushed forward but got held back by an invisible force. “Fuck you.” He mumbled as his body tried to jerk away.

“The deal was, that I let him live but I take the baby instead. His baby that is growing in your tummy.” She still had that wicked grin on her face and you were sure that her grin will be branded in the back of your mind and every time you’d close your eyes, you’d see it.

“No!” Dean cut in.

“But the baby is not born yet, it’ll be born after Dean..” You didn’t understand what she meant and your hands went to your belly, stroking it on instinct. “Oh..” It was now that you realized that they want your life and the life of your baby in exchange and upon realization, you felt very weak and nausea hits you. You put your hands out, searching for something to hold on to and Dean winds himself out of the force that was weak enough by now, rushing to your side, holding you steady.


	12. 12

“Baby, breath.. everything’s going to be ok.” Dean held you up, pulling you into an embrace and buried your face into his chest, inhaling his scent as if he was the air that you needed.

“Don’t listen to her, Y/N.” Sam was still on the floor, his fingers working on freeing himself from the ropes around his body.

You didn’t know if you should laugh or cry. The irony of it all just hits you. One brother was bound and bloody on the floor and one is doomed to die soon but still, both of them were worried about you. _You_ , of all people!

Taking a last deep breath on Dean’s chest, inhaling his familiar smell for what you thought was going to be one last time, you pulled yourself together, pushing Dean away as you look into the demon’s face. Her grin was still prominent and it makes you wonder if it turned her on to see how miserable you were. How miserable they all were.

“What are you going to do to me?” You asked her out of curiosity, not sure if you wanted to know the answer at all.

“It depends,” she snickered, “I could make it quick, you know? Rip it out, you wouldn’t feel a thing.” She took a step closer. “But if you’re trying something funny, sunshine? It’s not going to be fun. At least not for you.”

“So you’re saying that if I sacrifice myself and my baby, Dean would get off his deal? He’s not going to have die and go to hell?”

“Well, yes, sunshine! You’re correct! I would need to seal the deal with a kiss from Dean, though.” The demon grins, as she winked at Dean. 

“Fuck off.” Dean hissed under his breath as his hand grips around your arm, pulling you back but you swatted him away.

“Ok.” You whispered. 

“No!” Sam yelled out, writhing himself on the floor and you could see that he almost cut himself through the rope but the demon was too distracted with you to notice.

“No!” Dean growled, his hands reaching out for you again. 

“Let her finish, Deano.” She giggled at him.

“I will do it. What’s my life anyway, right?” You had tears in your eyes as you twist in your step, turning around to face Dean. “If I can help you live a long life, I’m doing it. We’re doing it.” Your hands stroke your tummy. 

“No! No, no, no!” Dean screamed out, making you flinch. And then he took the two steps to you and you reached out to him, touching his cheek and he leaned into the palms of your hand, tilting his head a little bit to kiss it. “Baby, no. You won’t do it. I won’t let you!” 

“Dean, it’s alright.” You try to smile through your tears. “Do it, kiss her.” 

“The fuck I’m doing!” He hissed through gritted teeth as he tilted his head to meet the demon’s satisfying gaze.

“Dean! Do it!” You screamed now, tears streaming down your face. “I’m begging you to do it! Please?”

Dean clenched his jaw and held his hand in fists until the knuckles turn white but then he nodded at you and walked to the demon. He was tense when the demon wrapped her arms around his neck.

“Anything to say to sunshine before I take her, Deano?” She asked him, looking up at him, her mouth curved into a smile. 

“Yeah, no, but to you.” Dean said before he lowered his face to her ear. “Go. To. Hell.”

Before the demon could even react to Dean’s words, Sam was standing behind her, driving the demon knife into her back and you were left stunned. 

“Get your things, Sam!” Dean said, walking past you and picked up your bag before he pulled you behind him. You were sitting in the car when you wait for Sam to join you. 

“You ok?” Dean turned himself around in the driver’s seat when he saw that you were just staring out the window, not saying a word. 

“I would have done it.” You whispered and you weren’t even sure if he heard you. 

“I know.” 

_I love you_. You wanted to say but couldn’t because your voice got swallowed up by your tears. 


	13. 13

Weeks had passed and they were laid low, moving around more often than before with the three of you try to get by while the boys are looking for clues to save Dean from hell. **  
**

_Hell._

Hell, of all places! Damn it! Dean will go to tell and there’s nothing you could do. Nothing, he would want you to do. He wouldn’t want to talk about it, about you giving up your life for him, didn’t want to talk about anything other than keeping you save and you felt annoyed and frustrated.

You were sitting on the motel bed, hands rubbing your tummy as you felt your baby’s first kick. Smiling, you looked up, but there was nobody around you could share the joy with. The boys had been out, buying supplies for the baby and you were not allowed to make a step out of the room while they were gone.

“Hey.” Sam burst into the room, all giddy and joyful, as he put down a big bag of something you’re not sure you want to know what it was. Dean walked in right behind him.

“Look what we’ve got.” Dean said, holding up a booster seat. “Already tested it in the Impala. We could make it work.”

“And also this,” Sam chimed in, unpacking the big bag and revealing a travel cot. “it’s so easy to handle, you can fold it to stow it away when you don’t need it and when you do, just push this and this and voilà.” He demonstrates it for you to see.

“Figured, since we’ll be moving around..” Dean said but was cut off by you.

“No!” You say, louder than anticipated.

“Hey, Y/N we -” Sam tries to say.

“No!” Standing up from the bed, you pace around the room. “You don’t understand. I’m not moving around with my baby. Life on the road is not suitable for a baby and less suitable for mine!” Your voice was trembling and you didn’t know if you should laugh or cry at the situation you were in. “I want to go back to my apartment, have a steady home for me and my child. Is that too much to ask for. Oh god, I’m such an idiot. I let you knock me up. Why did I let this happen?!” You fold your shaking hands over your face. Everything was just too overwhelming.

“Baby, I’m sorry.” Dean was by your side, walking you over to the bed again and made you sit down on it. “I’m so fucking sorry. When I made the deal, you weren’t pregnant. I didn’t know… fuck. It’s all on me, alright? You did nothing wrong. Now, let’s calm you down, shall we.. Sammy, tea!” Dean called out to Sam and he scrambled up from the floor, putting on the kettle.

“I don’t want tea.” You say, staring blankly ahead.

“What do you want? We can go out, take a walk in the park, whatever you want.” Sam said as he turned off the kettle again.

He’s used to your mood swings by now - they both are, and it has gotten worse with every passing day. Maybe it’s the lack of privacy but maybe it’s also the fact that you had to leave your home and everything else behind to travel across states and flee a goddamn demon.

“Baby, what do you want?” Dean asked as he and Sam stood in the middle of the room, both of them looking lost.

On top of all this, you felt your baby use your bladder as a trampoline again and walk into the bathroom. Looking back to the lost boys you say, “I want you guys to get Dean out of his goddamn contract.” and slammed the door shut.

  


“You ready?” Sam looked over to Dean as they sat in the car.

Ruby gave them the address to Lilith’s hide out and now they’re here. Both of them were nervous and Sam saw that Dean’s hands were trembling.

“Yeah.” Dean muttered before he tilts his head to look at Sam and Sam could see that Dean had tears in his eyes.

“Dean, I -”

“No, it’s ok, Sam. We couldn’t find a way. I get it. It’s ok. It’s just,” his voice broke and he needed a moment. Dean pinched the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes. After a moment, he opens them again, “promise me something?”

“Anything.” Sam said, he had trouble holding back his own tears.

“Take good care of Y/N,” Dean took another breath to calm himself down, “and of course the baby.” He looked over to Sam who had a tear running down his cheek. “Treat the child like it was your own? Watch out for both of them, they didn’t deserve this. Can you do that, Sammy?”

“Of course.” Sam replied, pulling Dean into a hug.

“Hey, no chick flick moments, alright?” Dean chuckled painfully as they parted.

“Yeah, right.” Sam sat back, straightening himself and wiped the tears from his cheeks.

“Bitch.”

“Jerk.”


End file.
